November 21, 2018 The Julian News 5
My Thoughts
by Michele Harvey
Health & Personal
Services
General Dentistry & Orthodontics
“Dr. Bob” Goldenberg, DDS
2602 Washington St • 760 765 1675
Specializing in fixing broken teeth
and beautifying your smile !
It’s time you had the smile you’ve
always dreamed of ! Call today !
Most Insurance Plans Accepted
Visa and Master Card
WHAT A CHILD LEARNS
ABOUT VIOLENCE
A CHILD LEARNS FOR LIFE.
Teach carefully. We can show you how.
Call 877-ACT-WISE for a free brochure or
visit www.actagainstviolence.org.
NOTE TO PUB: DO NOT PRINT INFO BELOW, FOR I.D. ONLY. NO ALTERING OF AD COUNCIL PSAS.
Act Against Violence - Magazine & Newspaper (2 1/1 6 x 2) B&W APARD2-N-05130-D “What a Child Learns” Line Work
Film at Horan Imaging 212-689-8585 Reference #: 127093
CLNTS 1 WV B/W DOLEV
127093 *127093*
1/15/02
22:03
EAST
OF
PINE
HILLS by Kiki Skagen Munshi
Julian Medical Clinic
A Division of
Monday–Friday 8-4 pm 760-765-1223
• Complete Family Practice Services
• Monthly OB/GYN
• Digital X-ray Lab Services
• Daily Borrego Pharmacy Delivery
• Behavioral Health (Smart Care)
Now accepting: Covered
California, Medi-Cal,
Medicare, Community
Health Group, Molina,
Sharp Commercial, CHDP.
Most PPO’s and Tricare.
Sliding Fee Scale and
Financial Assistance Available.
Blake A. Wylie, DO
Unneetha Pruitt WHNP , Women’s Health
Cathleen Shaffer, Nurse Practitioner
Randy Fedorchuk MD, Pain Management
WWW.AFTERSCHOOLNOW.ORG
1-866-KIDS-TODAY
AFTERSCHOOL PROGRAMS.
Ignore them and they’ll go away.
NOTE TO PUB: DO NOT PRINT INFO BELOW, FOR I.D. ONLY
NO ALTERING OF AD COUNCIL PSAS.
Afterschool Alliance - Newspaper 2 1/16 x 2 B&W
MFNYR2-N-06232-H “Ignore Them” 85 line screen
Film at Schawk 212-689-8585 Reference #: 127931
- 4 AB 85 IRIS
127931 9/6/02
21:50
June 05, 2016 2:50pm
All soldiers fight, suffer and die alone surrounded by friends...
Pure allure... obscure to procure... and when achieved a voice
asks, “Have you lived long enough? Do you want to go back”
... Happy 4th
H
Exclusivly
50 Years ago
the Journey
began for a
young man
from Del Mar.
Drafted and
shipped off to
the other side
of the world.
Local
Resident
Howard Fisher
tells his story
of war and
survival and
recovery.
Landscaping In Limited Space
Flu shots available at the Julian
Clinic every day from 9-11 and 1-3.
Appointment advised. Please call the
clinic 760-765-1223 for information.
Most of Japan’s people are crowded into the few flat (or flattish)
areas in these mountainous islands leaving more than a bit of
contradiction in the landscape. Large areas, mostly vertical, are
underpopulated and becoming more so as villagers move to the
cities; the cities are intensely crowded. Tokyo is a vast landscape of
high buildings; outlying towns like Nara have a more human scale but
structures are still cheek by jowl.
Perhaps because there is so little space that isn’t the foundation
for some structure or asphalt for roads and sidewalks, houses don’t
exactly have front yards. Or back yards. Or much of any yard but…
there are gardens. Impossibly small areas, beautifully landscaped
with a lovely tree, perhaps a bush, all neatly trimmed and carefully
arranged to provide a tiny spot of beauty set against this wall and
crowded by that sidewalk.
Larger gardens surround temples and parks and are similarly cared
for. Every twist of a little path opens up a new vista, a stone bridge
over a little pond seen through a pine tree, a small grove of bamboo
among moss covered stones, maple leaves patterned against a
temple. Trees are pruned over the years, some branches propped
up with lovely sticks, grown to frame yet another tiny vista, giving the
illusion of space and the reality of beauty.
It is inspiring. The fruit trees in Julian need pruning… could they
ever look like Japanese fruit trees? It will take some contemplation
and more time. Maybe… just maybe…
But probably not.
Antique Post Cards
from Kathy Feigal
The Julian Pioneer Museum is showcasing a very special Christmas
Tree this year starting on Friday, November 23rd. ,The tree will be
adorned with over 150 antique post cards and decorated with candles
set in antique clip-on holders. A few red bows will add a bright accent
to the six and a half foot tree.
Come and enjoy reading the greetings and postmarks on these old
cards.
The museum is open every Thursday through Sunday from 10am
to 4pm. The tree will be on display through January 6, 2019.
A donation of $3.00 per person will be greatly appreciated.
This is a reprint of a column originally published in November 2013
Embarrassing People, Not Good
I know a couple who get along really well most of the time.
Occasionally though, I just want to slap the man with words, telling
him that he is embarrassing his wife and making a fool of himself at
the same time. She once said something seriously in both words and
tone. He chuckled while saying, “Honey, you know that isn’t true.” In
saying that, he contradicted her in public and made her feel stupid.
Actually he was the one who was incorrect and he was wrong to treat
her as if she hadn’t said something worth hearing.
Women often tell the world about their husband’s failures. I think
they should think before talking. Many people drink too much. They
drink enough to loosen their tongues and they end up saying things
that totally embarrass them later.
Embarrassing people in public is just wrong. Even if you are the
only person you embarrass; It’s not necessary and it makes you look
bad if you are the person doing it.
I know two siblings who love to get every chance they can to
embarrass each other. One will bring up something that happened
40 or 50 years ago as if it happened yesterday. Maybe one will talk
about a chore that was never completed saying, “All I know is that
when we were kids and it was your week to wash dishes, we ate from
paper plates.” Is it really necessary to bring things like that up? My
Grandmother would have said that person was showing the family’s
dirty laundry in public. I get tired of listening to both of them and
through the years have found many reasons not to spend time with
either of them.
Volunteering runs in my family. For many generations, people in my
family have volunteered their time helping others. Many families have
histories of helping others. Volunteers don’t get paid a salary for their
work, so we all assume that volunteers work for the love of helping
others. Most volunteers do, but every once in a while I end up working
with a person who wants all the people around them to treat them as
a special person because they have dedicated so much time to help
other people. These people don’t seem to realize that they are part of
a group of dedicated people and it can be very embarrassing to work
with them, knowing that others may think all volunteers are like that
one person.
I’ve worked with people who aren’t good at explaining what needs
to be done, and then yelling or scolding the people who work for them
for not doing the job properly. These things don’t ever need to be
done publicly. I think some bosses feel important if lots of people see
them acting bossy. I’m not impressed with bossy people. I’ve worked
for lots of people and I’ve had lots of people work for me. Whether
or not the employees are paid or volunteering, it is embarrassing for
them to be scolded in front of others and those scenes make the boss
look asinine.
While talking with some friends about embarrassing things
that happen, we talked about people who should probably be
embarrassed, but aren’t. When a person tells a really bad joke or
story about someone else, and no one laughs, it could be that the joke
wasn’t actually funny. Instead, it may have been an embarrassment.
I really hate times when adults hurt the feelings of children.
Sometimes they don’t do it on purpose, but mostly they do it without
thinking. We should never interact with children without using our
brains. One time a man, a friend of our family, told my son that one
winter, years ago, the ice was so
thick on Cuyamaca Lake, a jeep
was driven on the ice without
sinking. Assuming the story
was true; my son repeated it to
a different man. That man really
didn’t know if the story was true,
but he humiliated my son in front
of a lot of his friends, telling him
he must have made up the story
because it couldn’t possibly be
true. Though he didn’t live here
during that really harsh winter,
and he didn’t listen to stories of
our area’s history, he said a jeep
could never drive on Cuyamaca
Lake. I was there when my son
heard the story. That day no one
questioned it. When he repeated
it, instead of humiliating a child,
the second man could have said
something kind, or maybe even
admitted that he didn’t know if
it was possible. Over 20 years
ago I lost respect for that second
man. His actions since then have
never given me reason to change
my mind.
I like to think that I’m a good
person because I work at being
kind to people. Sometimes it’s
easy to say something before our
brains have time to tell us to hold
back. However, I try to put my
brain in gear long before words
come from my mouth. I know that
sometimes I say or write things
that anger people. But I try very
hard not to embarrass people.
To paraphrase the Golden Rule,
I don’t embarrass people and I
don’t see any reason for them to
embarrass me, or to embarrass
anyone else.
I learned many years ago
that if I talk too spontaneously,
too quickly, I can manage to say
things that embarrass me for
having said them or my words
embarrass someone else, which
is unnecessary and even worse
than embarrassing myself. I
learned a long time ago that if
I don’t say anything, I keep my
dignity much longer than I would
if I say something I later regret.
We can all take a deep breath
before opening our mouths to
talk. It works for me, so I’ll keep
breathing.
These are my thoughts.
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If you live close to an International Rescue Committee office in the United States, find out how you can assist a
refugee family as they transition to American life. Invite a newly arrived family to your home for a welcoming meal.
Listen to their hopes and dreams, and share your own.
— Mandy Patinkin
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